A physical betrayal of epic proportions

On the whole my body has been good to me. There are so many things it does correctly. I can walk, talk, think and generally function. While it has a few quirks, it pretty much works....until this week. Now, dear reader, is the time to stop reading if you are squeamish. If you don't like reading about bodily functions and how they go awry, stop reading now. You have been warned (and I don't want to hear any whining if you don't like what you read.)

On Monday I went to work as normal. Afterwards, I stopped by a store to pick up some boxes and had dinner. I then went to get Gelato with Sarah, Angie, and Alisha to help welcome Sarah back to the United States. We talked for over an hour. I went home and packed a few boxes, then started to get ready for bed.
At 10pm my stomach started to really hurt. As some of you might know, I hate throwing up and will do almost anything to avoid it. I drank some Pepto Bismo and laid down on my bed. I then felt flush and knew what was going to happen next. I threw up. I then proceeded to throw up every half an hour or so for the next 7 hours. After the eighth time I started to dry heave. I then started to drink water so I would have something to throw up. It was pretty pathetic. I threw up in my room and in the bathroom. Luckily, I managed to throw up in the garbage cans. After the first time, I made sure that my garbage can and the bathroom garbage can were lined with plastic bags. After each time, I took the garbage bag full of vomit downstairs and to the outside garbage can. About an hour after I started throwing up, my body decided to rebel in another form and there were issues with the other end of the food/water system of the body. There were cramps and it was messy (I told you that this was a disgusting post.) I had to change my sheets and then ended up slipping in my own vomit in the bathroom. I must admit that I really started feeling bad for myself and really, really wanted to be home with my parents. At the very least, my Mom or Dad would have changed the sheets of my bed while I was in the shower. After throwing up 11 times, showering twice, and changing my sheets and clothes, I was exhausted. At 6am I decided I should probably contact my work and let them know I wasn't coming in.
All in all, Monday night/Tuesday morning was a complete rebellion of my body. It stopped working how it should. Now, Thursday morning, I am keeping down toast, water, and Coke. I am still at home, which annoys me to no end. I have missed two (three if you count today) days of work. While I have access to e-mail, my brain is so fuzzy that I can't do much with it. Luckily, my boss is in Germany so I don't feel like I've abandoned him. I haven't thrown up since Tuesday but the other issue hasn't quite ended. On Tuesday I had a fever of 100.1. Yesterday afternoon it was 97.8 (per the same thermometer.) My body has had a heck of a time regulating its temperature. I am shivering one minutes and then, then minutes later, I am sweating and wanting to take a cold shower. All in all, I am sore and exhausted. My back and sides hurt from heaving. I am grumpy and am getting annoyed.
I had planned to do a lot this week. Since my boss was going to be away, I was planning on catching up on work projects that I have been putting off. I was planning to pack a lot of boxes and move at least half of my room to my new place. I was planning on throwing my cousin, Sarah, a great coming home party on Friday (now I think I would just get all the guests really, really sick.) I was also planning on riding in a parade on Saturday. I guess I should be thankful for what I have, which is a body that is on the mend, a family who loves me (there's nothing like Lauren calling me and being concerned about my "hurting tummy,") understanding co-workers who are picking up the slack, and functioning plumbing (how did pioneers function under these circumstances?)
I hope to be able to go to work tomorrow or at least get something of worth accomplished. I so dislike being sick because of the inconvenience. Well, I hope all of you are either laughing at the patheticness of my life or counting your own blessings. Oh, and to all of you are who are grossed out: you can't say I didn't warn you. :) (Just be glad there aren't pictures with this post.)

P.S. Just in case I am not pathetic sounding enough, my tv stopped working on Sunday. The power went out for about an hour and when it came back on the picture didn't work. When it snapped off on Sunday during Music and the Spoken Word I heard a pop so I think it's officially dead. It turns on but no picture comes. I think it's just as well since I watch too much tv as it is. There is a tv in my new place on the main room. I don't really need one in my bedroom anyway.